A little known fact about Santa’s sleigh is that it was originally pulled by nine reindeer: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Cupid, Comet, Donder, Blitzen and Karl. However around the 1840’s, shortly before Clement Clarke Moore’s famous poem brought fame to Santa’s reindeer, Karl became politicized and took an increasing interest in left wing revolutionary teachings. Opposing the blatant exploitation of the reindeer, elves and the rest of Santa’s little helpers, Karl started to take direct action. He organised strikes and protests through-out Santa’s magical kingdom leading to the now infamous “Night before Christmas Revolution”. Intending to depose Santa in a popular uprising so that the Reindeer and elves could deliver the Christmas presents themselves, Karl made his famous “Pull your own frakking sleigh” speech. Santa responded by pulling a .44 Magnum out of his sack and blowing Karl’s head off.

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Best wishes with menaces. Nothing helps speed up the healing process than a death threat to small, cute furry hamster.

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Ten things you didn’t know about Macaroni Penguins.


1. They live on the Falkand Islands

2. The eat squid and krill but not pasta

3. Their name comes from Macaroni meaning dandy or fop. e.g. “He stuck a feather in his cap and calls it Macaroni”

4. Macaroni Penguins are the 4th most searched for penguin on Google, after the Emperor, King and Adelie penguins

5. Macaroni Penguins are closely related to the Royal Penguin but they only occasionally exchange Christmas Cards

6. In a popular vote, the Macaroni Penguins selected The Clash as the greatest ever rock band

7. On average, 12 penguins a year die in sex games

8. During the long, dark winter months, Macaroni Penguins come up with plans to give those stuck-up Emperor Penguins a good kicking

9. No one has ever choked to death whilst eating a Macaroni Penguin

10. The three biggest causes of death amongst young Macaroni Penguins are Smoking, Syphilis and Drive-by shootings

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Very little is known about the strange Long-eared jerboa. It is only a few centimeters tall, hops like a kangroo, has a tail 3 times the size of its body and has that some of the largest ears relative to size. Like many other creatures today, it is in danger as its habitat on the barren steppes of Mongolia is under threat. Recently, Jonathan Baillie of Evolutionary Distinct & Globally Endangered (EDGE) foundation was able to film these creatures for the first. You can see the amazing footage here.

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They are the smallest of the armadillo, being approximately 90-115 mm (3½-4½”) long excluding the tail, and are pale rose or pink in color. They are found in central Argentina where they inhabit dry grasslands and sandy plains with thorn bushes and cacti. They have the ability to bury themselves completely in a matter of seconds if frightened.

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