Pull Your Own Frakking Sleigh

A little known fact about Santa's sleigh is that it was originally pulled by nine reindeer: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Cupid, Comet, Donder, Blitzen and Karl. However around the 1840's, shortly before Clement Clarke Moore's famous poem brought fame to Santa's reindeer, Karl became politicized and took an increasing interest in left wing revolutionary teachings. Opposing the blatant exploitation of the reindeer, elves and the rest of Santa's little helpers, Karl started to take direct action. He organised strikes and protests through-out Santa's magical kingdom leading to the now infamous "Night before Christmas Revolution". Intending to depose Santa in a popular uprising so that the Reindeer and elves could deliver the Christmas presents themselves, Karl made his famous "Pull your own frakking sleigh" speech. Santa responded by pulling a .44 Magnum out of his sack and blowing Karl's head off.

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